Writing schizophrenically.
E.L. Doctorov, the author of Ragtime, says: "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." I think this is true, though I sometimes wonder if I'm schizophrenic enough. I think every novel is about the novelist, to some extent. We try to create new characters in new situations, but at bottom, every character we invent comes from our experience, and our experience is what makes us who we are. With every book, we use up a little more of those people inside of us, and we have to rake through what's left to make someone new.
My first protagonist, Annie, in Shadow Falls, is my shy self, the girl who finds it hard to talk to people sometimes. Kristi in Vibes is my angry self, the person who can be hard on herself and other people, with a rather wicked humor. My next book, Zen and Xander undone, features two of me: Zen is a quiet girl again, though her quiet comes from reserve and self sufficiency rather than fear, and Xander is the party girl in me, the one who is capable of being self destructive. Each of these characters is a different side of who I am, but exaggerated greatly. I'm not as shy as Annie, as angry as Kristi, as self-sufficient at Zen, or as self destructive as Xander. But these aspects of my personality helped me find these characters, and understand their motivations, and make them feel real to my readers.
That's why I worry about not being schizophrenic enough. How many more people could there possibly be inside of me? How many more voices can I create? As I mature in my writing, I think I'll have to reach further and further outside myself for material. My protagonists will likely have to mold themselves after people I know, and not me so much. That's the interesting thing about my profession. Writers can grow in their technical skill through abstract study, but in every other way, a writer's work only grows as the writer grows in spirit and personality. That's what's so great about the writing profession. There's always room to improve, to find something new in your work. When you discover this newness, your writing is enriched, and so is your life.
My first protagonist, Annie, in Shadow Falls, is my shy self, the girl who finds it hard to talk to people sometimes. Kristi in Vibes is my angry self, the person who can be hard on herself and other people, with a rather wicked humor. My next book, Zen and Xander undone, features two of me: Zen is a quiet girl again, though her quiet comes from reserve and self sufficiency rather than fear, and Xander is the party girl in me, the one who is capable of being self destructive. Each of these characters is a different side of who I am, but exaggerated greatly. I'm not as shy as Annie, as angry as Kristi, as self-sufficient at Zen, or as self destructive as Xander. But these aspects of my personality helped me find these characters, and understand their motivations, and make them feel real to my readers.
That's why I worry about not being schizophrenic enough. How many more people could there possibly be inside of me? How many more voices can I create? As I mature in my writing, I think I'll have to reach further and further outside myself for material. My protagonists will likely have to mold themselves after people I know, and not me so much. That's the interesting thing about my profession. Writers can grow in their technical skill through abstract study, but in every other way, a writer's work only grows as the writer grows in spirit and personality. That's what's so great about the writing profession. There's always room to improve, to find something new in your work. When you discover this newness, your writing is enriched, and so is your life.
posted by Amy at 11:15 AM
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